Martha Howe-Douglas Please recycle

Martha Howe-Douglas Please recycle

Martha Howe-Douglas had been selected to appear in a television advertising campaign promoting the new food waste disposal bin system in the UK. The advertisers wanted to come up with a way to impress the new bins into the minds of the population and they managed to come up with something that everyone whom saw it would never forget. The campaign would definitely succeed at its aim. They certainly were something that Martha was never going to forget.

The adverts would air in heavy rotation on most of the major channels for some time. They began with Martha Howe-Douglas appearing on the screen and explaining about the food waste disposal units. “I am here today to let everyone know about the new food waste units that everyone will be having in their homes in just a few short weeks. They are easy to use and good for the environment. All you have to remember is to not put any packaging into them.” She pulled one out and showed everyone what it looked like. “As you can see, they are black and orange. They are simple to use. They are very clean and very safe. You simply fill them with any disused food items.” She put down the bin.

“You can put in anything that has gone off or is out of date.” She looked forward and then up as she said this, a food waste bin was emptied over her head. It appeared that it was a real bin filled with what would genuinely be in a food waste bin in someone’s home.   She closed her eyes as it was poured over her head. The food in it was sloppy and rotten. It was in a state of decay. It was almost black in certain areas. There was bits of rice, pasta, meat, cheese, sauces, vegetables etc. all mixed together. It poured down over Martha’s head, all over her blonde hair. She kept a serious look on her face and looked straight ahead as it was dumped over her. Bits of the discarded food covered most of her head and chest. It was greasy and sloppy. 

When it stopped, she carried on talking. “You can put into it raw, uncooked and unused foods.” Another food waste bin was then emptied over her head. In it was rotten raw vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower and carrot as well as tomatoes and raw chicken. It plopped down heavily on her head with a sloppy noise. She looked forward as the raw food dumped down over her face, falling all over her body. I bit of raw chicken stuck to her fringe. A bit of broccoli stuck in her cleavage, between her breasts.

“You can also put in it bits of disused food that are from takeaways or that have been frozen.” Now another waste bin was emptied over her head. This one contained everything from bits of bread to half eaten pizza slices, to bit of burgers, rolls and buns and slopped up old chips. The bin was emptied over Martha’s head. She closed her eyes as the mess toppled in its many chunks down over her face and body. Some stuck in place, other bits fell down her body and onto the floor.

“You can put your leftovers and table scrapings into it as well,” she suggested. With that, another bin was emptied on her. In the bin were bits of what were clearly discarded meals. There was bits of lasagne, spaghetti, roast dinner, curry, Chinese food, fajitas, shepherd’s pie, tuna casserole etc. The food poured over the face of the actress. It covered her head. Individual bits of the menu stuck all over her person. She shook her arms as the masses of leftover food poured over her. They all smelled atrocious.  She wiggled her lips and looked into the camera.

“The concept is simple. We all throw away untold amounts of food, why not put that disused food to good use? It would normally just go to some landfill somewhere and rot. This way it is put to good use, and not just being poured over my head. I urge you all to make use of the new bins that will be supplied by the council. It is quick, easy and will have a good effect on the environment. Who knew that pouring food over my head could be such a positive thing,” she joked.

With that, another food waste bin was emptied over her head. It, again was filled with bits and pieces of many types of food.  Some of it was almost unrecognizable. It was all a sort of orange brown colour. Martha smiled as the rest dumped on her head. “Hopefully, for my sake, much of the food waste that will be collected will be used for compost and not for pouring onto my head,” she said with a smile.